By ‘Seun Salami
Happy Sunday!
Here is a story my friend wrote and I find it interesting, so I thought I should share it with you.
Enjoy...
118 BBM messages. 12 text messages. 28 missed calls.
Yet it took only about fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes
since I stepped into the bathroom. Fifteen short minutes since I updated my
BlackBerry Messenger status with a picture of the ring on my finger and the
words – Finally!!! Stone of Life!
Yaaaaayyyyy!
To be honest, I didn’t expect this sort of response.
Anyways, I’ve been enjoying every minute of it, soaking up all the love and
attention and replying with Thanks hun, I
appreciate it darl, Soon luv, depending on the question and who had asked
it.
Everyone knows that girls love it when a sister gets
engaged. I know because I do too, and I have also always wanted to experience
this feeling. This rock star feeling of being the centre of attention for at
least a day, an otherwise ordinary day that suddenly feels like one’s birthday.
I’ve always wanted to know how Juli felt the day Jerry gave her a ring in the
most unusual way, the strangest way possible.
Juli had insisted on paying her grandmother a visit on her
own birthday and spending the day with her. She said it was something she owed
her grandma for all the love she showered on her while she lived with grandma
for five years while growing up. Jerry seemed taken aback by this strange idea
of the perfect birthday, not just because her grandma’s house was really far
away, but because he honestly wasn’t quite sure about the idea of spending the
whole of his girlfriend’s birthday with her grandma. How awkward? Besides, he
had also planned to take Juli out and spoil her silly but that would now have
to wait. He did bulge eventually, and Juli had her wish, although Jerry said he
wouldn’t be able to take her there since he had to be at the office. They would
celebrate in the evening when she returned.
Juli got much more than she had wished for, because few
minutes after she got to her grandma’s house, excited, birthday cake in hand,
her grandma decided to give her a gift – a surprise gift inside her wardrobe.
“Wow! Must be a lovely dress,” Juli must have thought, running to quickly pull
open her grandma’s huge wardrobe as grandma grinned sheepishly behind her.
“OH-MY-GOD!” Juli must have screamed. “Oh my God! Oh my
God!!”
There was Jerry. Right inside the wardrobe. Yeah, you got it
– he went on one knee. With one outstretched hand. He was holding a tiny red
case. With a gad-damn blinged out
stoneeee! Really, I would have written my expression on BBM as ‘OMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG’.
I wonder why Juli did not faint. I for one would have
fainted if Le Boo pulled such a crazy
stunt on me. I would die of shock, I’m sure.
Well, Jerry didn’t just kneel there staring, he actually
opened his mouth (and oh, those pink lips) and popped the question of life,
“JULI, WILL YOU MARRY ME?”
Who would even think before answering such a question of
life from a man like Jerry.
If you’ve ever seen Jerry or any of his pictures that Juli
so witlessly flaunts on social media, you will understand. Juli didn’t say yes
or no. She just kept screaming, and grandma kept grinning awkwardly both with
envy and pride, if you know what I mean. Juli told us she snatched the ring
from his finger and put it on her fourth finger by herself. She said she was so
excited that Jerry even had to remind her that he was still inside the obviously sweltering wardrobe before
she made way for him and hugged him saying “Thank you, thank you...”and then
turning to her grandma, “Oh grandma, why didn’t you tell me?” with grandma
continuing to smile awkwardly in return as I imagine a tear or two must have
rolled down her cheeks.
And then Juli must have reached for her phone almost
immediately, found a perfect bright spot and taken a picture of her hand with
the ring on, because we soon saw her BlackBerry messenger status with the
picture of the ring on her finger and the line:
OMG!!! Lover boy just
popped the question – from right inside my grandma’s wardrobe. #Stunned
#Lovestruck #Heaven
The ring was beautiful, to be quite honest, but I had mixed
feelings immediately. I have always dreamt of doing this – taking a picture of
my beautiful engagement ring and putting it up on my status for all to envy and
there she was, Juli, my bitter-sweet friend, going one better. I felt the way Le Boo told me he felt the day he saw a
picture of one of his friends posing in front of a glittering Nissan Murano,
accompanied by the words New Car things –
Oluwa lo seyi o!
The words of my pastor immediately came to my mind, along
with his face – The fastest way to get
anything you want in life is to thank God genuinely when God does that same
thing for somebody else as though it was for you. That was the day I
realised that certain things are easier said than done. All I could feel was
bitterness mixed with joy whenever I enlarged the picture and zoomed in on the
ring.
Beautiful stone. To lie about that is to perish in the lake of fire.
That, basically, was my motivation for doing this. I had
gone to window shop at a jewellery store yesterday and had tested the ring on
my finger. And although the guy at the shop made it clear that they didn’t
allow people take pictures of their rings, all I had to do was smile that my
sexy smile for him and he couldn’t
refuse me the honour. I had kept this picture anxiously until this morning and
put it up shortly before stepping into the bathroom, and now I had all these
calls and messages and I was feeling this much excitement and enjoying every
little bit of it and all was well with the whole world.
Until my phone rang
again and then my heart skipped when I saw the Caller ID – Le Boo.
“Jeez! How did I
leave him out of all these?” I thought, as my pulse suddenly began to race. I
knew what he was about to say, certainly. He must have seen my update too and
his friends must have called him. Now this is the right time to scream, OMG!
I touched ‘Answer’.
“Babe, what’s this engagement ring and proposal ish?” he lashed out immediately.
I should have told him. I should have sought his consent.
“Babe, are you there?”
“It’s just a joke bee. It’s April Fool.”
“Of course I figured, because there is obviously only one
me. But is this not a bit too much for April fool?”
I imagined his trademark shrug as he continued speaking
without waiting for a response. He must really trust me so much to think I
can’t get an engagement ring from anyone else but him.
“Is it not a bit over the top to make our priceless love
into an object of ridicule all in the name of a flimsy April fool concept?”
Oh dear. Le Boo
can like to interpret things and speak plenty English sha.
“Now everyone is calling me saying congratulations and all
what not, and I have to pretend like I know what this is about?”
I couldn’t say anything.
“Babe, I’m talking to you nau?”
“Bee, I’m sorry. I just thought it would be fun. It’s been
fun actually.”
“Fun? Are you for real? Babe? Fun?”
He was quiet for a while and then he said, “Okay,” and hung
up.
I sighed. Okay. I would deal with him later. I know how to
handle my Le Boo. Meanwhile, here was
a challenge I had to deal with. It would soon be noon. How do I end this whole
prank in a really nice way without hurting anyone? Anyone else, that is.
Already, my sister had sent a message saying that one of my Aunties had called
my mum to congratulate her and they were both wondering what was going on. Now,
Sister Grace, my by-force prayer partner in church has also sent me messages -
all sorts of prayers about how God is so
faithful and how He never leaves
those who hold on to Him and trust Him and how God had told her that today was the day I would get something I had
long desired.
I paused after I read that one. Now, this has become pretty
serious. Why would anyone even bring God into this matter? Why did everyone
suddenly forgot that this was April Fool’s Day? Now I am about to make God a
liar?
Oh precious dear.
........
‘Seun Salami is the
author of The Son of your Father’s Concubine. He tweets via @SeunWrites
Thanks for stopping by....
''I say then; Walk in the spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of flesh.'' GALATIANS 5:16
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